Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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