If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
