why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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