im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
