What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Help me help you realize you are a moron
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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