Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
