u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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