I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My breasts were aching with rage.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
