I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
