Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
