His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
