So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
