So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize