I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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