I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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