I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
