Nicole vs. Life
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
