He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
