just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
