So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
