I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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