There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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