An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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