Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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