So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
