I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize