Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
