wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
