its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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