He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Ladies don't puke and tell
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
