never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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