Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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