You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
