i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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