super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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