pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
