i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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