a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
