It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
