I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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