at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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