Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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