He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
