Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize