I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
