He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
4 words: hood of his car
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize