i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
