Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
