I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
