everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
