bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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