Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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