I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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