Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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