then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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