I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
