Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
