I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize