Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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