Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
