Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
