i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
