You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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