Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
