There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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